its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
