you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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