Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
