I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
