using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
