he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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