do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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