well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
