kristin has been a bad kristin
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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