You just made me feel so damn special
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
how drunk are you?
Several
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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