She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm having to shit out rocks
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
