We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
false alarm. still invincible.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
