He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
