I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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