did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
