It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize