I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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