so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
