He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize