my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
