he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize