I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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