I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
