No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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