That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
