sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
