Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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