We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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