im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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