After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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