yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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