I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
