3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
