help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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