Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
