i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
