he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
