Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
