Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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