Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
