You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize