"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
