So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
