i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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