She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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