tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
