all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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