sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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