is your mom at the bar?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
