I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
