Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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