I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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