Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
