if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
