make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
