The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your cock deserves a montage
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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