Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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