I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i have herpe
just one?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will be naked everywhere
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
