Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
