she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize