On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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