do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize