did you get engaged???
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
