I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
