She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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