then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
