I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize