When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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