It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
