My brain says no but my pants say off.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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