ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
