I love black thongs
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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