they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
