yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
