You're a womanizer and a bitch.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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