Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
